mermaid or whale?

Recently, in a large city in Australia, a young, thin and tan woman
appeared on a poster in the window of a gym.

The poster said, "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"

A non-mermaidish middle-aged woman, responded publicly to the question
posed by the gym.

* * * *

To Whom It May Concern,

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious
humans).

They have an active sex life, get pregnant and have adorable baby
whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves
with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places
like Patagonia, the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia .
Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are
incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans.
They are loved, protected and admired by most people in the world.

Mermaids don't exist…

If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices
of psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don't have
a sex life because they kill men who get close to them, not to mention how
could they have sex? Just look at them ... where is IT? Therefore, they
don't have kids either. Not to mention, who wants to get close to a girl
who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me:

I want to be a whale.

P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only
skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy ice cream with my family,
a good dinner with someone who makes me shiver, and good wine and *
chocolate* with my friends. With time, we gain weight because we
accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is
no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't
heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy.

Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think,

“Good grief, look how smart I am!¨